The White Van Man Guy

This one took place not long after I first moved to London, which is a long time ago now. I was seriously into clubbing back then, and on this particular occasion I had been out at a famous Saturday night/Sunday morning club in Farringdon. As usual it was pretty hedonistic, packed with Muscle Marys and everyone drugged up to their eyeballs, me included. I never had much success with men there, because they were all so gorgeous that I guess I thought they were out of my league. This night was no different, so I end up leaving on my own and start to walk home, which in those days was just south of the river in Borough.
The sun is already up, but it's very early Sunday morning so there is not really anyone around. I am walking down the main road that leads to one of the bridges that will take me across the Thames towards my flat, when a white van drives up next to me and pulls up a bit ahead of me on the other side of the road. I glance over, and see that the driver is winding his window down and looking over towards me.
He catches my eye, and shouts something over at me - not shouting in an angry way, just trying to attract my attention. I can't hear him, probably due to the fact that I am slightly deaf after a night spent dancing next to an enormous set of speakers, so I cross the road and walk over to the van.
'Want a lift?' says the driver. He's Asian, young and handsome with lovely big eyes and a strong, thick neck.
'Erm....I'm not sure,' I say, because this all seems a bit strange.
"Where are you walking to?' he asks.
'Down to Borough,' I reply, giving the name of square where I live.
'Why don't you get in, I'm going that way anyway,' he says, so I do.
'Been out clubbing?' he asks, so I tell him about my evening as he starts up the van and we head off down toward the river.
He seems nice enough, and although I know this is an odd situation I feel quite comfortable here in this van with this stranger, probably due to the large amounts of drugs that are still coursing through my veins.
We pull up at some red lights, and he goes quiet. I look out of the window at the empty pavement, and when I look back I see that he has pulled his cock out and is playing with himself. He looks across at me and smiles nervously.
'Do you want a hand with that?' I ask, reaching across and cupping it in my hand. He's not hard, but he's getting there. Its a nice fat one, brown and stubby with loads of curly black pubes sticking out his fly.
I massage it lightly as we drive along. It only takes a few minutes to get back to the flat, but we don't say much as he is concentrating on trying to drive as I gently wank him off.
'Do you want to come in?' I ask as he draws up outside my building.
He hesitates, then nods as he stuffs his cock back into his jeans.
Inside the flat, we go straight to my room. I start to kiss him, but I can tell he is not comfortable with that. He keeps pulling away, so eventually I stop.
'I'm going to the bathroom,' I say. 'I won't be long'.
By the time I get back he is in my bed, He's taken his sweatshirt off, and he's got a good body, with a big round chest and a line of thick hair running down his belly. I strip down to my pants and get in next to him, which is a tight squeeze because it's a single bed.
I start to play with his soft brown nipples. then start to suck on one and stick my hand down under the duvet. He is naked, and his cock is harder now, although still not as hard as it could be.
He moans lightly as I start to pull on it.
Meanwhile I still have my pants on and he doesn't seem interested in taking them off for me. He just lies there and lets me get on with things. After a couple of minutes I pull the pants off myself, working myself down the bed at the same time, then I double over and take his chubby cock in my mouth.
I start to suck on it, rolling his foreskin back with the tip of my tongue, but it tastes strange, bitter with a nasty chemical sting. I carry on for a few seconds, then let it drop out of my mouth and sit up.
'Your cock tastes funny,' I say.
'How do you mean,' he says, looking surprised.
'I don't know, just funny,' I say, trying to sound kind of relaxed about it because I don't want to hurt his feelings.
'Maybe I should go and give it a wash,' he says.
'Maybe you should,' I say, and give him directions to the bathroom at the end of the hall.
So off he goes to the bathroom, not bothering to put any clothes on before he steps out into the hall. He is a sexy guy, his arse is big and meaty, sitting squarely at the top of muscly thighs, but it's pretty obvious that he is clueless when it comes to sex. I realise by now that sucking him off as I wank is about is good as this is going to get. I'm hard, so I play with myself half-heartedly as I wait for him to come back.
He's away for a long time. The minutes tick away silently, then I hear some scuffling around in the hall outside, doors opening and closing.
My bedroom door opens and he steps back in. He looks flustered.
'I walked into the wrong room,' he says.
'Did you?' I say with a smile.
'It's not funny,' he says. 'I walked into your flatmate's room, and she saw me.'
'Oh, don't worry about her,' I say. 'She's seen worse,' which is true enough, and I laugh.
'But I was naked,' he says. He looks very uncomfortable now.
'Honestly, its not a big deal,' I say.' Why don't you get back into bed.'
He shakes his head, and reaches down for his pants. He pulls them on, and then starts to get into his jeans.
'Are you off then?' I ask.
'I think I'd better,' he says.
'Fair enough,' I say, and lay back on the bed and carry on wanking myself off.
He fumbles around, getting tangled up in his clothes as he struggles to get dressed as quickly as he can.
'Well it was nice to meet you,' I say with a smile, looking over at him and trying not to laugh.
'Sorry mate,' he says sheepishly as he pulls his sweatshirt over his head and walks towards the door. I'm quite relieved he is going, it was obvious from the start that this wasn't really going anywhere.
I let him see himself out. I hear the slam of the front door, which is right next to my bedroom, and a couple of minutes later I shoot a spray of thick spunk over my stomach. I wipe it off with my discarded pants, drop them on the floor, then drift off to sleep
I have a good laugh about it with my flatmates when I eventually get up that afternoon. For some reason the girl whose room he walked into thinks the guy was a dark, swarthy Italian, so I have to put her right on that one.
Afterwards I decide that getting into a van with a stranger is not really a very clever thing to do. I resolve never to do it again, not that I have ever had the opportunity anyway.

The Middle of Nowhere Guy

This encounter was a bit of a disaster, and it's not very sexy either, but it's a funny story, so I am going to tell it anyway.
It takes place in Newcastle, at the end of short cycling holiday. I'm there with a friend, we are staying in a smart hotel down by the docks, and we decide to celebrate the last evening of our trip with a night out on the local scene. We check out a couple of bars, and then end up at the main club. It's not great, with ropey music and an even ropier crowd, but we get drunk and have a giggle nonetheless.
Eventually my friend announces that she is going to head back to the hotel, and as usual I decide to hang around a bit longer and see if I can get any action. I buy a drink at the bar and have a wander around, but pretty soon it becomes clear that there is nobody interesting and nobody interested in me. The lights come up not much later, and the club starts to empty out.
I grab my coat from the cloakroom and wander out into the big open square outside. There's lots of guys milling around, staring at the ground, staring at each other, the desperate guys hoping to pick up the dregs of the night (and I include myself in that description). I walk slowly up to the street and loiter at the nearest bus stop for a while, trying unsuccessfully to work out how on earth I am going to get back to the hotel, and also casting my eye around for any available men.
There's a guy sitting alone on the bench of the bus shelter. He's good looking, with long hair and fashionable clothes, but not particularly sexy. He's too prefect and preened to be properly sexy, with his shirt opened ostentatiously wide to revealed a tanned hairy chest below.
He says hello, so I say hello back, and we start to chat.
It doesn't take long for the conversation to get round to sex.
"You can't come back to mine, I'm sharing a double room with a friend," I say.
It turns out that he is staying at his gran's house.
"You can come back if you like, but it's quite far away," he says.
I'm horny by now, and so of course I agree to go back, despite the odd circumstances. We flag a taxi, and the journey begins.
We drive for a while, through the centre of Newcastle, then out to the suburbs.
"How far away is it?" I ask.
"I told you it was far away," he says, and laughs.
And so we carry on, out into the countryside, then I see signs for Durham. And the taxi carries on.
I'm starting to feel uncomfortable now, but he slides his hand down the front of my jeans and starts playing with my cock, which takes my mind off the growing distance between me and the hotel.
And still we keep going. It must be at least twenty five minutes since we set off, and we are now in the depths of nowhere. The sun is coming up, and all around are green fields and trees. My cock is hard, and he keeps working on it with his hand.
At last we reach a small village, and he directs the taxi driver to drop us off in a cul-de-sac of drab council bungalows. He pays, and then the taxi drives off into the distance.
'Come on then,' he say, and leads me by the hand down the garden path of one of the bungalows. "We'll have to be quiet though, I don't want to wake her up.'
We get to the back door, and he bends down and lifts up the door mat.
"Oh," he says, sounding surprised, and I realise then that I am in trouble."She normally leaves a key here, but she must have forgotten tonight."
"What does that mean," I say, not even bothering to disguise my impatience.
"It means I'll have to ring the bell, which means you can't come in," he says.
I'm getting pretty worked up now.
"So what the fuck am I supposed to do?"
He looks embarrassed and apologises. "She normally leaves a key," he says again.
I start to get quite aggressive, and then I realise that I am stuck out here with no means of getting home and no mobile phone, so I start to act all nice and calm.
"Can you call me a taxi?" I ask politely.
He looks at his phone, which it turns out is starting to run out of battery. Now I really start to panic.
We wander away from the house and up the street, back towards the centre of the village. There's a wide open village green surrounded by houses, with an old fashioned red phone box in one corner, so we walk over to that. The sun is up now, but it's chilly and the sky is full of grey clouds.
After much fiddling around from him, and much panicking from me, he manages to get hold of a taxi number, and then he calls from the phone box and organises for a taxi to come and collect me and take me back to the city.
I slump onto a bench, ignoring the damp dew, and he walks over sheepishly and sits down next to me.
"I'm really sorry for all this," he says again.
I stare at him in silence, then grab his face and pull him towards me. We start to kiss.
After a few seconds he moves his hand over my crotch, and then he pulls down my zip and his hand wiggles its way inside. He pulls down the top of my pants and takes grip of my growing cock.
He pulls his mouth away from my mouth, then silently slips off the bench and down onto his knees. He pulls my cock right out of my trousers, plays for it for a while in the chilly air, pulling back the foreksin and looking at the shiny wet tip, then he bends over and takes it into his warm mouth.
He sucks, and I grab hold of his long ponytail and start easing his head back and forward. He sucks more eagerly now, so I put both hands on the back of his head and push him right down so that he takes my whole cock into his mouth. He gags quietly, but I don't let up. I'm angry at this guy, pissed off that he has got me into this situation, so I take it out on him now, forcing him onto my cock till he almost chokes. He seems to quite enjoy it.
I look up and take in the fact that I am being sucked off in what is now broad daylight in the middle of a village green. I can't help but smile, because I know that this is going to be a story that I will be telling for years to come. There's still nobody around, but I'm well aware that someone could appear at any minute and catch us at it.
Meanwhile he's dipping away frantically at my cock, sucking and pulling with his hand. Eventually I let loose and shoot a load into his mouth with a gasp. He looks up at me and smiles.
We have to wait a while for the taxi, but I make sure he waits with me - I'm not letting this guy out of my sight until I am well on the way back to civilisation. I don't quite relax until I hear the chug of a diesel engine and see a car appear round the corner and drive up towards us.
He apologises yet again, but I'm beyond caring now. I give him a curt goodbye, then collapse with relief into the back seat of the taxi.
It takes a good half hour to get back to Newcastle. Its almost seven in the morning by the time we reach the hotel, and I am up again at ten to get the train back to London. I have a crashing hang over, and pass out for most of the journey.

The Cute Little Brazilian Guy

This one took place in Lisbon a few years ago. I was there on holiday with my best friend, and we were taking advantage of the small but busy local scene.
On the Saturday night we follow a trail of bars through the Barrio Alto and end up at a club with the rather unfortunate name Trumps.
We’ve both taken a pill. My friend is good at sniffing out drugs even in unknown foreign locations. They’re not too bad as it happens, and although the music in the club is pretty second rate, we dance for a bit and generally have a fun night. The guys in Lisbon are cute, all small and dark and extremely friendly.
I sit down on a bar stool at the side of the dance floor after a brief bout of dancing, and that’s when I make eye contact with this guy. He is short, slightly chubby with warm brown skin, dark dark hair and a cute smile which he flashes over at me. He looks young, but maybe that is just because he is so short. I smile back and he walks straight over. One thing about the people in Lisbon, they don’t waste any time when it comes to making a move.
He introduces himself in faltering English and we chat politely for a while. It turns out he is Brazilian and has lived in Lisbon for a couple of years. It’s a bit of a struggle to keep the conversation going, and he is not really my type, but there is something sweet about him. I can tell he is a genuinely nice guy, so I buy him a drink and he seems pleased.
After a while the conversation starts to die out, and for a minute or so we just stand in silence, or rather I sit on my stool and he stands next to me.
Then he turns to me and says,” If you were to ask me to sleep with you, I would say yes.”
“Would you like to sleep with me?” I ask, and he says yes, and I laugh. He looks at me bemused, not understanding what’s so funny. I lean over and kiss him.
By now the club is starting to empty out. I guess it must be about four o’clock. I say goodbye to my friend, and then I head off into the night with this little Brazilian boy.
It’s still warm outside, which is lucky as I haven’t even brought a jacket with me. We wander slowly down through the winding alleyways of the Barrio Alto, down towards the docks. It turns out he actually lives over the water in Cacilhas, and he says we have to take a ferry to get there. I am not too sure about this, it seems like a long way to go and I don’t want to get stranded in some strange part of town with no way of getting back to the hotel, but he says it’s not a problem. I am feeling horny and high so I decide to go for it, to take the risk and have a bit of an adventure. When we get to the dock we have to wait for ten minutes or so, it’s surprisingly busy with lots of other locals waiting quietly on benches to take the journey over the river.
The boat journey doesn’t take long. Its quite romantic in a way, we stand at the prow and look across at the lights of Cacilhas. The ship’s lights scan the water ahead, picking out the glowing shapes of hundreds of jellyfish in the darkness. We talk, he tells me about life in Lisbon, about how he shares a flat with two other girls. He tells me that I will have to be quiet when we get to the flat as they don’t like him bringing guys back, and that he has to be quite secretive about his sexuality in general, that they all do here.
His flat is in a non-descript sixties concrete block not far from the dock. We take a tiny lift up to his floor, he opens the door carefully and we go tiptoe straight through to his room.
We kiss again. He works his fat little hands up into my T-shirt and then moves one of them down onto my crotch. I pull back and then start to undress, so he does the same. His body is nice, brown of course with a slightly rounded belly. His chest and legs are covered with a down of thick black hair.
When we are both down to our pants we climb onto the bed and start kissing again. He quickly puts his hand inside and starts pulling at my cock, which is already hard. Then he bends over and starts to suck.
This goes on for a bit, then I pull away, drag my pant down and throw them on the floor. He kneels at the end of the bed, watching me, so I pull him towards me and start pulling at his pants. I don’t get very far, in the end he has to stand up and I get the chance to pull them down properly.
He is hard too, and his cock is thick and solid. It’s big too, surprisingly big for such a small guy. I get to work on it, pulling and sucking, then moving down to lick his heavy, hairy balls.
We carry on like this for a bit. He lies back and I climb on top, facing away from him so I can get a good suck of his dick. He plays with my arse, fiddling gently between my cheeks, then lifts his head up, pulls me open and sticks his tongue right in there.
After a while I roll over on to my back and he sits on top of me, right on my stomach, and reaches back to wank me off as I play around with his cock. I try to suck him off, but it’s at an awkward angle and after a few seconds I get a pain in my neck.
“I’d love to fuck you,” I say, reaching round to grab his soft little butt cheeks.
“No, I don’t like that,” he says, and asks if he can fuck me. I like the idea of it, but he is so big that it frightens me a bit.
“I think you’re too big for me I say,” which of course he loves to hear.
It soon becomes clear that he is reaching the end, he starts to groan and screw up his face. I start to wank him harder, working my other hand round the back and easing wet a finger up his hole. I think it might be this that sets him off, and he gasps and sends a wodge of thick spunk up onto my chest. I take over my own cock, and with a few seconds I’ve come too, up his back and over my stomach.
He gives me a kiss, then disappears through to the bathroom to get some paper tissues to clean me up.
We lie there for a bit, talking and cuddling. He drifts off to sleep, but I am still wide awake. I have to get up a few times to go to the toilet, taking pills seems to make me piss non-stop, and I get worried that all the sneaking around and flushing is going to wake his flatmates.
By now its daylight outside and the sun is shining through his bright orange curtains. I wake his up and tell him I have to go.
“Maybe we can meet later for a coffee,” he says, which is a surprise as I wasn’t expecting him to want to stay in touch. He writes down his mobile number on a scrap of paper, and we say goodbye. I get the ferry back to Lisbon, and looking back I can see the huge statue of Christ which stands above Cacilhas by the bridge. I feel quite pleased with myself for having such a horny night with a cute guy.
I get my friend to send him a text that afternoon, as I don’t have a phone. It takes him a while to reply, and when he does he says he can’t make it as he has just found out about a family crisis in Brazil. My friend texts back to say not to worry, that is was nice to meet him anyway.
I feel a bit disappointed for the rest of the day.

The Quick Fuck Sauna Guy

This one was in a sauna, the big one in Vauxhall. I’d been out clubbing till quite late, but failed to pull and I was feeling horny, as usual.
Anyway, I’ve been there a while, and it’s Saturday night so the place is busy, but I’m not having much success. I wander round the maze of cabins, there are a few guys there that are alright, but nothing special, so I sit for a bit in the lounge area and read a magazine. After a while I decide to give it another go, so I head through to the room with the big video screen showing porn movies. Its quite dark in there, the only light is coming from the flickering TV screen, and there’s a low platform along the other wall, like a cross between a bench and a long bed.
There are lots of guys lying on the bench, a couple of them are asleep, some are wanking off to the movie, and a couple near the door are having sex. It looks like they are fucking, but its hard to tell because one of them is lying right on top of the other and moving his arse back and forward and I can’t work out if his cock is actually in. I can’t see his face but his arse is saggy and old looking.
I sit down on the edge of the bench and watch the film for a few minutes, fiddling with myself half-heartedly. A guy walks in, he’s Asian, Chinese maybe, with a nicely toned body, good wide shoulders and a flat stomach. He walks right past me and gets up onto the bench a bit further down the room.
I look over and see that he is already touching up the guy next to him, putting his hand up inside the guy’s towel and pulling at his dick. The guy is older, mid 40’s say, and quite overweight with a heavy, round belly.
Within a few seconds they both have their towels off, and the asian guy is sitting on the big guys lap, with his back to him. The Asian guy is silent, but the big guy is moaning and gasping, and it’s obvious that he has got his cock up the Asian guy’s arse already, no mucking about.
The men around them all start getting stuck in, touching the two of them, then getting into each other and quickly there’s a whole orgy thing going on. I watch for a bit and wank myself casually through my towel.
It lasts a few minutes, till the big guys gives a long moan and I guess he must have come. The Asian guy immediately stands up and starts walking towards the door.
But when he gets to me he suddenly stops. He reaches over and grabs my towel just where my cock is, and he can feel that I am hard.
He nods his head and pushes me backwards, signalling me to get up onto the bench. I move up to the cushioned bit at the top, he pulls of his towel and straddles me, so I pull off my towel too.
He grabs my cock and starts to massage it, which feels good, and I move my hands over his torso and get a good feel of his pecs.
He’s already got a condom in his hand, and he rips open the wrapper with his teeth and puts it on my cock. He leans over and lets a long dribble of spit stream out of his mouth, and it hits my cock first time. This guy obviously knows what he is doing.
He pulls himself up a bit, up further towards me, then grabs my cock and sits down on it, hard. It goes right in, and I gasp a little bit. He doesn’t even flinch.
So then he gets to work, moving up and down, slowly at first, then a bit faster. I grab at his nipples and run my fingers over his tight body, and I am really enjoying this. I grab onto the wide, hard muscles down his side and help him move back and forth with the rhythm of my hips.
I want it to last a while, but he is getting faster and faster, and I can tell that he isn’t going to hang around. I’m aware of other guys watching, but I don’t pay much attention, I am totally concentrating on him.
I put my hands round behind him and pull his arse cheeks apart. He groans a bit, so then I put my hands on his shoulders, pushing him down as I push my hips up, getting as far into him as I can.
It’s not long before I am ready to come, and I do it with a loud grunt.
He looks right into my face for the first time and laughs.
“There you go” he says, and laughs. “You alright?”
“Yes,” I say, and I laugh too.
With that he pulls my dick out of his arse, gets up and walks out of the room, throwing his towel over his shoulders as he goes. I get up too, pulling the condom off my fast deflating cock, and throw it in the small bin by the door.
I follow him out of the room, hoping to catch him up, but he’s already disappeared into the half-light, and I don’t see him again as I shower and get dressed. I leave not long after.
I didn’t even know this guys name, but he was a great fuck, definitely one to remember.

The Big Teeth Guy

I met this guy in a club, one that used to be held in some railway arches just near King’s Cross Station. I think it’s moved on since then, but I haven’t been for a couple of years.
There’s a group of us there, and we are all dancing, but I decide to go for a wander and check out the talent. I am walking through the quiet seating area when I see this guy sitting on his own. He is cute, quite young looking, skinny with short brown hair. I sit down next to him.
It takes a few seconds to get his attention, but eventually he notices me smiling at him, and he smiles back, a tight lipped smile.
“Having a good night?” I ask.
“Yes, not bad,” he says, and that’s when I see his teeth. His teeth are huge, long and wide and sticking out of his mouth at an angle. But when he stops talking and closes his mouth again they are gone.
We chat for a bit about this and that, we find out that we both love cycling. He is from Australia, although is accent is not that strong, and he has been living in London for a couple of years. Every time he speaks I see the teeth. I think it’s a shame, because he seems like a decent guy, and he’s quite good looking when his mouth is closed.
So I decided to persevere, and I buy him a drink.
After a while we wander through to the main room where my friend’s are dancing. I introduce this guy to them. I can see them checking him out, and of course they spot the teeth too. It’s impossible not to.
We all dance for a bit.
“What do you think of him?” I ask one of my friends. “He’s quite cute apart from the teeth, don’t you think?”
“I am so glad you said that,” she says. “We were wondering if you had noticed.”
We have a bit of a laugh about that.
So the evening goes on, dancing and chatting, and eventually I kiss him. He is an ok kisser, the teeth don’t seem to make any difference, surprisingly enough.
As closing time approaches, my friends decided they are going to go back to someone’s flat for a chill out. I am not really in the mood for that, so I ask this guy if he wants to come back to mine. He seems keen enough, so we get our coats, leave the club and get ourselves a taxi.
Actually I am not staying at my flat, because I live on the other side of London. One of my friends has given me a set of his keys so I can crash in his spare room. It’s not far away, the taxi only takes a few minutes. We chat during the journey. He strikes me as a bit wet. His voice is all soft, and he doesn’t actually have much to say for himself in the cold light of (very early) day.
Back at the flat, we go straight to the bedroom and start to kiss. I push him over onto the bed and put my hand up his T-shirt, rubbing his body. He feels toned.
We kiss a bit more, but he doesn’t seem to be doing much, he just lies there. I stop for a second and look at him.
“Take your T-shirt off,” I say, and he does. His body is nice, thin but athletic looking.
We kiss a bit more.
“Take your jeans off,” I say, so he does that too, and then lies back on the bed. We a kiss for a bit longer, but this doesn’t really seem to be going anywhere. I’m getting bored now, and don’t know how to progress.
So I stand up and take my clothes off, down to my pants, and then get on the bed next to him and we kiss. I put my hand down the front of his pants, and I can feel he is semi-hard.
“Let’s take these off,” I say, pulling his pants down to reveal his cock. It’s fat and pink, kind of hard but not totally there. I start to rub it, pulling his foreskin back and forward, looking for a response. He just lies there, eyes closed, silent.
I go in for another kiss. Now I am getting annoyed. I push him over and look at his arse, which is nice, young and smooth, but when I start to play with it he rolls away from me onto his back.
After a bit I pull my own pants off. I am really horny, and I can tell this is going to need more drastic action. I’m hard.
“Suck my cock,” I say, and he screws up his face and looks uncomfortable.
“This is not really how I had imagined it would be,” he says.
I sigh.
“Maybe I should just go home,” he says.
“You don’t have to go home,” I say. “We can just go to sleep.”
So we try that for a while, I lie there and hold him. I am not too tired, still feeling quite high and awake. I play with his nipple, one last chance at getting somewhere, but nothing.
He gets up and goes to the toilet. When he comes back into the bedroom he says, “Maybe I should just leave,” and stands there, looking at me, teeth bared.
“Please, you don’t have to, let’s just go to sleep,” I say, although I am kind of hoping he will go.
He gets back into bed and snuggles up into me in a spoon formation.
We lie in silence for a few minutes.
“I should go home,” he says. “Do you want me to go?”
“Well maybe you should just go,” I say. I am at the end of my tether now, I’m not horny any more and I just want to try and get some sleep.
So he gets up and puts on his clothes.
He apologises that things haven’t really worked out, and I say it doesn’t matter, that it was nice to meet him, which is a lie.
He writes down his number on a scrap of paper.
“Call me,” he says. “Maybe we could hang out.”
“Erm, maybe,” I reply, trying to sound as non-committal as possible without being rude.
With that he leaves. My friend bumps into him on the street on his way back from the chill out party, and they chat briefly. My friend tells me this the next day, I tell him what happened and we have a laugh about the whole thing.
I don’t phone him of course, although I do spot him cycling up Charing Cross Road a couple of months later. His mouth is closed, so I don’t see his teeth.

The Hairy Muscle Guy

I met this guy in a club, one of the big places down at Vauxhall. It had been a long night, my friends had all gone home but I was still wired and wanted to stick around, partly for a dance and partly with the hope of getting a click.
So by four o’clock the club is starting to get quiet. I have reached the point where I reckon I’ve sussed out every guy in the place, and either decided I’m not interested in them or that they are not interested in me. I’m not so desperate that I will just go with anyone, so I start to think about heading home for a cigarette and a wank.
Anyway, I walk through the bar area for one last look before I leave, and I spot him sitting on his own in the corner. He’s got his T-shirt off and he’s muscley, that’s the first thing I notice, with big arms and a wide hairy chest. I sit down on a stool next to him, and smile over. He smiles back, so I say “How are you?”
“I’m alright, how are you?” he says, and the conversation starts there.
He’s older than me, in his early 40’s, and he seems friendly enough, and quite genuine. I can tell pretty quickly that he is interested in me, because he keeps talking, laughs at my jokes, and a couple of times he strokes the back of my head.
“Do you want to go for a dance,” I ask, and when he says yes we walk through to the room next door. He’s short, maybe 5’6, but his upper body is great, solid shoulders, a broad back and a tiny waist. We dance for a bit, gradually working closer, touching and rubbing against each other. After a few minutes we kiss, and I have to bend down to reach his mouth.
We dance and kiss for a bit more, then I suggest going back to mine. The music is so loud that I have to almost shout it in his ear. He is up for it, so I go to the cloakroom and get my coat and he puts his T-shirt back on.
Its daylight outside, and there are people wandering around, doing their shopping and having coffee. The sun is already warm, but I am still wired and wide awake.
As we walk back he talks about himself. He works for a supermarket, used to be a personal trainer, and has just finished his first course of steroids. Now that I look at him properly he does have a strange physique, with wide thighs and a sticky-out bum, but I still think he’s sexy. He says that he is a top, and describes himself as an ‘arse man’. He says that he used to be overweight, but now he goes to the gym six times a week, he thinks he might be addicted.
Back at the house I open a bottle of white wine. I end up drinking most of it, and we talk and kiss on the sofa as I smoke a couple of cigarettes. I ask him to take off his T-shirt so I can stroke his pecs and play around with his nipples. He can tell that I am getting tired, which might be something to do with the wine, so he suggests going through to the bedroom.
I go for a piss, and when I come through he’s already naked and in bed.
“I had to take my pants off, they were a mess,” he says.
I strip down to my underwear, get into bed next to him and we start to kiss. He’s a good kisser, surprisingly soft and gentle.
I work my hands over his torso, down his stomach and onto his cock. He’s hard already.
“I should warn you that I might no be able to get it up,” I say. “I’m still pretty wired.” He just laughs. I move myself down the bed, put his cock in my mouth and start working on it. It’s a good size, long with decent size balls, but his foreskin is loose and saggy which I find a bit of a turn-off.
After a few minutes he says “Turn over and let me get a look at your arse.”
I roll over and he pulls my pants down, I have to lift myself off the bed as he struggles to get them past my knees. He starts stroking my cheeks, them pulls them apart and sticks his face in between. He really goes for it, licking and sticking his tongue right in. I moan a bit, and play with myself, trying to get myself hard, feeling a bit self-conscious about my soft cock.
He pulls back, then starts fiddling with my hole. I look over my shoulder to see him licking one of his fingers, which he then sticks in me, firmly but carefully. I’m groaning now, hanging on the bars on my headboard, and pushing myself back onto his finger.
“You’ve got a very sexy arse,” he says.
He finger fucks me a bit more, pushing it in and out, but gently so that is doesn’t hurt.
“Will you fuck me?” I ask.
“Eventually,” he says, “but you’re quite tight.”
After that I suck him off a bit more, with him on his knees and me lying flat on my stomach so he can rub my back and work a finger into my hole.
Eventually he pushes me over onto my back and moves down to my cock, but I am embarrassed because it’s still soft. He takes it in his mouth, I try to push him away, but he fights me off playfully and sucks on it a bit longer.
It starts to harden slightly, but it’s obvious that I am still too high to get it up properly.
Eventually he gives up and we both lie there, exhausted.
He drifts in and out of sleep, I can tell by the changes in his breathing, but I am wide awake, so I lie and play with myself for a bit. He rolls into me, putting one of his massive arms round me, and a run a finger up and down the bulge of his muscle. I push my arse back onto his cock, and soon I can feel it harden again.
“Right,” he says with a new sense of determination, and he rolls me onto by back and climbs on top of me. I lift my head up awkwardly, pull his cock in my mouth and knead his balls in my other hand. He thrusts into my face, and reaches back and starts playing with my cock, which is hard now, at last. I move my free hand round to his arse, which is small and tight and covered in soft hairs.
I can tell he’s getting close, and after a couple of minutes he takes over his own cock and starts wanking himself hard. I notice the loose skin on his stomach which wobbles like jelly as he wanks, I suppose it must be because he used to be so fat. I ask him to flex, and try to concentrate on his hard, hairy pecs to take my attention away from his shivering belly.
He comes quickly, shoots over my stomach, but not much comes out. I run a finger through it then stick it in my mouth, just to get a taste of him. He moves over onto his back with a sigh, so I climb on top and start playing with myself. He helps me along by tweeking my nipples and rubbing my balls, and every so often I lean forward for a kiss.
When I come, its shoots a long string of spunk up over his chest, onto his cheek and up onto his forehead, just missing his eye.
“Sorry,” I say, but he just laughs.
“That’s alright.”
I go through to the bathroom and get a towel, which I use to mop up the spunk. I throw the towel on the bedroom floor, then we both lie there for a bit, me with my head on his chest.
After a bit he says, “I better get going. I’ve got to go to work this afternoon.”He gets up, and I fall back into a doze as he gets dressed and disappears through to the kitchen. A few minutes later he comes back into the bedroom
“I’ve left my number,” he says.
He leans over and kisses me goodbye, and I hear his footsteps on the stair followed by the slam of the front door.
When I go through to the kitchen later I find his number written on the cover of a magazine, along with his name and an x for a kiss.
A week later I am feeling horny, so I phone him and leave a message with my number.
He doesn’t call me back.